


The Fire Within

by QoLahney



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M, Hate to Love, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, The Companions - Freeform, The Silver Hand - Freeform, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24101272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QoLahney/pseuds/QoLahney
Summary: Arian, a foreigner who is running away from her past, ends in Skyrim, a land that loathes strangers. As she struggles to find her place in the city of Whiterun, she applies to join a local order of warriors, the legendary Companions.Vilkas, the one in charge of testing the new recruits, dismisses her instantly but Kodlak, the Harbinger, notices in her something special and sends for her to offer her a modest job.Though he respects the decision of the old man, Vilkas is decided to prove that the young woman does not belong between them and will make everything to push her to leave.But the stubborness of the girl will soon show hidden skills that will end up arising feelings within him that he thought he would not be able to feel for anyone.
Relationships: Vilkas/Original Female Character
Comments: 33
Kudos: 49





	1. Reading Tastes

**Lycanthropic Legends of Skyrim**

_by_ _Lentulus Inventius_

_“I had heard the same rumors as everyone else—that the province of Skyrim was awash in various forms of Lycanthropy..._

_... Everyone has a cousin or a friend who saw one once, but when pressed, these stories fall apart..._

_...I worry that by spreading stories of a potentially false (or at least rare) beast, people may begin to discount the threat that real beasts pose. But if Skyrim’s people choose to lead a backwards life, shrieking at shadows and clouds, I will not stop them._

_The werewolves of this land are a curious sort. At least the legends of them... few people in civilized society ever mentioned them, and my questions were usually met with nervous stares..._

_Thinking that perhaps the common folk were simply more cowardly than I had been lead to believe by my Nordic acquaintances in Cyrodiil, I sought out those known for actual bravery. The supposedly fearless warrior band of Whiterun, **the Companions, lost all color when I broached the subject, and asked me to leave.** I had thought better of them, and was disappointed at how quickly brave men and women can be intimidated by stories..._

_Pressing into the wilderness, away from any sort of settlement, I would often find hunters, willing to recount stories of their kills... Just as I was thrilling to finding some actual evidence of the local beasts, he got a wild, conspiratorial look in his eyes and began spinning tales of some band of werewolf hunters and their exploits in hunting down the creatures..._

_...In the end, I regret that my trip to Skyrim did not prove more productive..._ ”

* * *

Arian yawned and rubbed the bridge of her nose after closing the book she just read. 

_Another lycanthropy book._

She found funny how the topic of this disease became of such interest between the Circle members. Kodlak, Skjor and now Vilkas. Although their readings showed opposite points of view. The Harbinger and Vilkas seemed to be interested in learning about old wive’s tales and descriptions of the disease, as if they were trying to understand its root and its cause, while Skjor seemed to be looking for a way to make lycanthropy more powerful... _how curious_.

Arian shrugged. Lycanthrophy didn’t mean anything to her and she didn’t question the arising interest of certain Companions in it. Maybe the number of lycans were increasing, she could hear some howlings at night and heard a lot of tales of sightings and attacks in Falkreath. Maybe they were starting to receive requests to fight them and were preparing for it. She didn’t know, and she couldn’t care less.

She approached to Vilkas’s bookcase to return the book she just borrowed. While she was placing it into the shelf, she made a quick search through the spines of the other books hoping to find another new title she could read. Vilkas was her least favorite person and he had loathed her since the first moment they met, but he was also an avid reader who was constantly getting new books. She loved to read and always looked for the way to sneak into his room, an area he restricted to her, to see what was the latest book he had brought.

She couldn’t find anything different at first sight, so she proceeded to open the books and check the titles and their contents. Nothing new at first. Arian surfed through the same old tomes of _The Wolf Queen_ , _The Songs of the Return_ , sword fighting techniques, alchemy books and..., hum... _Nords Arise!_.

Arian snorted. By that moment, she had a clear idea of what kind of person habited at Jorrvaskar just for the kind of books they liked to read. Torvar and Farkas never seemed to read at all, but for example, Athis, was obsesed with _“Great Harbingers”_. The copy that was in Jorrvaskar belonged to the old man, but she usually used to find it under Athis’s bed. She had read it too and had also noticed that the pages that spoke about _Henantier the Outsider_ were pretty wore out and some of them were tearing apart, as if the elf focused his readings on just that section. On the other hand, she could find the tomes of the _Lusty Argonian Maid_ in the other whelp living quarters, where the girls slept, but she never knew if they belonged to Ria, Njada or both. Aela had many books about archery, which surprised no one, and Skjor had found an interest in lycantrophy.

But Vilkas. 

Vilkas’s collection was the most varied of all, and for what she could see, he loved history, poetry, arts, fighting techniques and she could even dare to take him as a frustrated alchemist. He usually had rare alchemy ingredients in his room and a couple of mortars along with some glass flasks. 

But to keep _Nords Arise!_??. 

Not that she had him in a high esteem. As a matter of fact, she didn’t like him. Vilkas was the asshole most asshole she had ever met, but she did admire how lectured he was. She could hear him talk about interesting topics, and she would eavesdrop some of his conversations from afar, where he wouldn’t notice her. He was always rude and condescending to her, when she approached to him to ask a question, he always sighed as if her queries were never worth his time. He was someone who barely shared his real thoughts, as he seemed to consider everyone else too dumb to understand them, or his feelings, unless it was anger. 

But with all that, she wouldn’t think Vilkas was the kind of person who would keep that book. The kind of people she knew that would embrace that book were _usually_ young Nords too naive or too stupid, _or both_ , to let themselves be brainwashed by Ulfric’s tales of past glories.

It didn’t have any importance, but somehow, it _bothered_ her. 

It bothered her that it clashed with the idea that she had of him. When she asked him about his stance in the war, he answered that it was a stupid war with a stupid cause, and yet, he hadn’t had get rid of that book. The answer he gave her back then had impressed her, it made him look so determined, so unbendable and... _attractive_. But now she just didn’t know. Maybe he was just a hypocrite, another mindless brute Nord who only liked to kill things until get killed. 

She grimaced. 

She shook her head, as if it could shake her thoughts out of her. Suddenly, she realized that she got so lost in them that she didn’t notice the order of the books she had in her hands.

Uh OH!

Unlike his twin brother, Vilkas was not only a tidy... but an obsessive man. He had his things ordered in such manner that if he found the slightest change, he would make a scene. That was the principal reason of why he had banned her from cleaning his room.

Arian sighed nervous.

It was almost a year since she applied to become a Companion. Though she admitted that slitting necks and breaking bones for money was not a job she wanted, in this land full of barbarians, it seemed to be _the only_ viable job. And she needed it.

It wasn’t her first choice. She had asked Acadia, but the Imperial alchemist was struggling for sales due to racial tension, and the Bannered Mare seemed to had just given their only waitress vacancy to a Redguard girl. The Drunken Huntsman barely kept itself afloat and everyone else who could need help and had enough money to afford it was pretty suspicious of outsiders.

She didn’t get the Companion job either, Vilkas, the master at arms, had dismissed her without giving her a chance to prove herself at battle. It was true that she had never used a sword in her life, not like those they had at least, and the Companion realized it just for the way she wielded the blade in the test. Though she didn’t like to fight, she was able to do it. She just needed a chance to prove it, a chance that Vilkas didn’t give her.

Defeated, she left and asked for a job to every soul in Whiterun. Even if her luck didn’t improve, she was determined to not to steal, not to beg or not to sell herself for sex. She was too proud and preferred to hunt skeevers to survive. She was not going to leave Whiterun either, it was too hard to get in to give up that easily the safety of its walls.

It wasn’t that bad. At nights, Danica let her sleep inside the temple along with some refugees and sick people, in exchange of some help, of course. Arian would clean the temple and attend the sick. In a naive way, she was hoping that Danica would see her useful and take her as an apprentice. But as days passed, it seemed as a less viable option, so she decided to speak to her and ask for the job.

Danica showed difficulty in hiding her discomfort at such request, and declined politely. She gave her the tale that she was too busy to teach anyone and didn’t have enough money to afford an apprentice. All lies, Arian could tell, and her suspicions proved right when, almost a month after, a boy arrived claiming to be Danica’s new apprentice. For the first time in many days, Arian felt his blood run as hot as the fires of the Skyforge and felt so upset that she could easily break everything that was in front of her. It didn’t help that the new guy had the finesse of a troll and was as clumsy as hell. The frustration of Danica with her new apprentice only rivaled with hers, she was so tired of being dismissed when she had proved to be more capable than the boy.

Fortunately, by that time, the people of Whiterun was more used to her presence and she got to know them better. They even asked her to run small errands that allowed her to pay for a room and food in the city’s Inns. She then decided to leave the temple with the only gratification of looking at Danica’s face when the priestess realized that she had to deal with the incompetence of her apprentice alone.

It wasn’t long until Arian started to make a name of herself assisting the people of Whiterun. She smirked every time she got a job that was meant for the Companions because the person couldn’t afford them, things such as recovering stolen stuff that she could do without killing anyone and were well paid. 

Words of that may have reached the ears of the Companions, because one night, a familiar figure approached to her. It was Farkas, Vilkas’s twin. At first, she stood froze, thinking that the huge guy was there to _teach her a lesson_ , but she soon relaxed when he told her that the Harbinger just wanted to talk to offer her a job. Once in the Harbinger’s quarters, the old man offered her a position as a maid in Jorrvaskar, in exchange of a small wage along with a roof, warm food and sword lessons. It seemed that he saw something in her that no one else had seen and was giving her another chance to join. Once she could wield a sword and if she wanted. 

The offered wages were pretty small, almost symbolic. She was making more money by her own, but at least, she wouldn’t have to pay for lodging, food and would have a safe place to keep her things, besides, the work shifts were flexible and she could have the opportunity to learn other stuff, like alchemy, and start a business of that. 

She couldn’t be picky anyway. 

She accepted, and for that, Vilkas had hated her ever since. It didn’t help that Kodlak tasked him with her trainings, and soon, tensions between them were just getting worse and worse. 

It was as if he was determined to make her leave. 

_Agh!_ \- Arian gave herself a soft punch. She had successfully avoided any conflict with Vilkas and now her carelessness will bring him over her for, who knows how long. 

She closed the books and placed them back to the shelves, she didn’t care anymore about new titles or about Vilkas. He would noticed the books were messed up and he would know it was her. She just wanted to get out of his room as soon as possible.

She’d figure out something, maybe she can tell Tilma or Brill to help her to make something up. 

She was about to put _Nords Arise!_ back, when a fine piece of paper fell from it. 

_Now What?_ \- She thought while she bent down to pick up the paper. It was a delicate piece of paper that gave off a fine aroma and showed a nice calligraphy.

Without giving it so much thought, she placed the paper inside the book and returned everything back to the shelf. Then she stared at it and stood still for a moment, with her hand still on the spine of the book. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi There!
> 
> This is my second romantic FF about Vilkas. Skyrim has been the first (and only) Elder Scrolls game that I have played, so, when I arrived to Whiterun and joined the Companions, my abilities with the controls were pretty lame. I remember that, when Vilkas tested me, I had a two-handed weapon and I never hit him. I think he just got tired of looking at me fail and while I swung, whatever I was holding, to the empty space, he suddenly said something like: *“That’s enough, you’re great, blah, blah”*, as if he was being sarcastic with me.
> 
> LOL
> 
> So in this story, I made my OC to be dismissed by him without even giving her the opportunity to prove herself. XD.
> 
> So, to those who have been following my other story, I only want to say that I’m still here and that I will still work on the other one. It’s just that I had so many ideas, some of which I liked a lot but didn’t fit in the other story, that I started a new one instead.
> 
> I think, and hope, my writing is getting better. At least this one has a better title and description.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!


	2. Snooping around the enemy’s secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arian snoops around Vilkas’s private things and finds out something she would never thought about him.

Arian took out the book again and flipped it through to find the note.

_Vilkas:_

_There is no easy way to tell you all of this, but I hope that you take it better from written words than from my mouth._

_I really esteem you, I really do. And I love all the things we’ve experienced together, but I just consider you as a very beloved friend, maybe the best of them. I really appreciate everything you’ve done, but I don’t think I will ever look at you as something else than that. I’m sorry._

_I wish you could see me the way I really am. Please Vilkas, stop giving me books that I won’t read or understand. I don’t like books and I don’t like to read, it’s just not my thing._

_Also, I would like you to keep this book. I haven’t read it but our people say it’s important. I hope you find it useful and that it could change your mind about the war._

_Put your talents and bravery into a good use. Stop wasting your time with the Companions. They’re a lost cause. They’re just a remembrance of something great and nothing in your books will bring that greatness again._

_So, I guess, after telling you that, my next notice won’t be a surprise:_

_I’m leaving. I’m parting to Windhelm tomorrow’s morning and I think I will be fighting with the Stormcloacks by the time you read this letter. Please, don’t go after me, unless you decide to leave those cowards and join me in the fight to return glory to our people. If you don’t, please understand that I won’t come back. This is what I want and if you’re the smart man I know you are, you’ll let me go._

_I hope our paths cross again, and know that I will always cherish our moments together._

_Svanhild_

Arian scoffed. She felt bad for snooping around Vilkas’s private affairs, but she couldn’t help it. There was something inside her that kept her reading the letter. She read it another couple of times before folding it to the way it was.

_Wow!..._ \- She thought while staring and running her finger through the folded paper. 

_Who is... or was... this woman?_ \- She haven’t noticed that her heart was beating fast. She also felt so guilty for having read it that her ears and cheeks turned red. 

_So, What is his real stance to the war? Does he really think it’s a stupid cause or he just says that because she joined? The fact that he is, indeed, keeping that note and book means..._ \- Some noises in the hall interrupted Arian’s pondering and made her jump from the bed, feeling her heart beat as fast as if it was going to burst out of her chest.

She could recognize the voice of Vilkas and his brother. They were back early.

_Damn!_ \- She thought and dropped _Nords Arise!_ in her rush to return the note and book to the bookcase. She groaned and managed to pick it up with her trembling hands. Then she rushed to the entrance and leaned out through the door.

She sighed in relief when she realized there was no sight of the twins. She took advantage of that to sneak out of Vilkas’s room towards the opposite hall. Once there, she got inside Skjor’s room, pretending that she was cleaning it the whole time. Soon, she could hear the brothers again, this time, they were walking towards Farkas’s room, speaking aloud and with a couple of mugs in their hands. 

_Great! They will be there for some time._ \- She thought, and then waited until they closed the door. She needed to get out of there, to get out of Jorrvaskar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the inspiration of this “letter” situation from something that actually happened to me. There was this boy who I was about to start dating, we both liked to read and he loved to lend me books. Once, he came with this Oscar Wild’s collection, a book so dense that you could use it as brick to defend yourself or something. 
> 
> Well, he gave it to me and I started to flip trough it, when a loose piece of paper came out. I started to read it without any thought and when I almost finished, I realized it was from someone... “special”.
> 
> Something that I will never forget about that note was what this Svanhild girl wrote to Vilkas: “Please! stop giving me books that I won’t read or understand. I don’t like books and I don’t like to read, it’s just not my thing.”
> 
> LOL.
> 
> So, once I read it, I went to him and casually said: “Hey, I think there is a note here from some [I don’t remember her name] girl that...” . He didn’t let me finish. He got as pale as a whispmother, snatched the letter from me, and... ate it.
> 
> Yes!
> 
> He ate it!!
> 
> Once he swallowed it, he asked if I have read it. It was so awkward that I said I didn’t. 
> 
> Lies. 
> 
> Up to the date, I have never admitted that I read it, though I think he suspects. 
> 
> Anyway...
> 
> I just wanted to share that with you, don’t take it as a spoiler. Things between Vilkas and Arian are not going to be sweet for a while.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	3. Life as a Jorrvaskar’s trainee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arian recalls tensions with Vilkas.

Arian had liked the city of Whiterun since the first moment she saw it from afar. It was a quiet city, despite the busyness of its market. It smelled of mead, wood, cold air and the smoke of the Skyforge, which was a strong smell but not unpleasant. The weather was quite nice too, despite the cold nights.

The buildings, even the poorest house, were beautiful, and were arranged, according to Arian, in a cozy way. Sometimes she just would sit near the Gildergreen and contemplate the beauty of the Temple of Kynareth, Jorrvaskar and Dragonsreach. She would also close her eyes and hear the nice sound of water running through the channels that fed the city with the precious liquid. She remembers the day when she finally got access to the walled city, after several tries. She had never felt so safe and at peace with herself as the first night she slept in Whiterun, despite the uncertainty of her future.

The throat of the world, that great and imposing mountain, could be seen from Jorrvaskar’s trainingyard, and Arian would wake up early to see it shine with the first rays of sunshine. At nights, she would look up at the sky and contemplate it, lighten up by the northern lights. 

People were rough, but with time, you’d get used to their manners. In her time in Whiterun, she had learned that the Nord people’s rudeness didn’t mean anything... with the exception of, maybe, Vilkas’s.

She and Vilkas had clashed since the first moment they met, and the tensions between them had never ceased, only increased. It didn’t help that Kodlak had tasked him with her sword trainings.

Since the first lesson, he had treated her with loath, ignoring her most of the time as if she wasn’t worth any effort. She found the lessons pretty uncomfortable and was grateful that Vilkas just wrote down a series of excercises for her to follow. The least she could deal with him, the best. The problem was, that he didn’t even wanted to tell her how to do them. 

She had to be begging him to explain them to her, and it was always such a pain. The first time, he answered with disgust and anger: _“What are you doing here if you don’t even know such simple things?”_ \- He told her. 

She tried her best not to allow this go under her skin and started asking the others, who, depending on their humor, grunted and yelled at her, or taught her with enthusiasm. 

Athis and Njada were the grumpy kind. But they were good teachers and they became instantly nicer, just a _bit_ nicer in the case of Njada, when Arian offered them money. She didn’t mind paying, she preferred to deal with them than with Vilkas, and she had learned a lot of useful things this way.

Ria and Farkas were the nicest, though she preferred to avoid Ria. That girl was just... too enthusiastic, spoke a lot of... dumb things, and Arian sometimes doubted that the young Companion really knew what she was doing or _teaching_ to her.

Farkas was fun and sweet, but he was busy most of the time to teach her. However, when he saw her practicing very early in the morning, he always approached to see if she needed assistance with a new excersice. “ _What did my brother asked you to do now?_ ”- He would ask her.

She then would show him the list and she would see him nod. Sometimes he would make a comment or a demonstration, other times he would just pat her on the back as a sign of encouragement. She once heard him say: “ _Don’t worry about my brother. He just doesn’t want to invest time in someone who would leave soon or that is not worthy. He’s like that with everybody._ ” 

Arian knew that he made that comment with the best intentions, but that didn’t help. Now she _was sure_ that Vilkas just saw her as a nuissance. Besides, what was that about: “ _He’s like that with everybody?_ ”. Arian had seen Vilkas’s patience threshold stretch beyond mortal limits when he trained the dumbhead of Ria, and he had never yelled at her or anything. 

Arian tried her best to not roll her eyes, wishing that Farkas had kept that for himself. 

But as she was determined to stay in Whiterun, Vilkas was determined to make her leave. Those lesson treatments were just the beginning of the things between them. When he noticed that she was relying on everybody else, it just made him angrier and he started to look for excuses to harass her.

Once, when she was practicing her swings, he came out of nowhere and held her wrist. He took the sword from her hands, and yelled at her: “ _NO, NO, NO, NOOOOO_ ”. Like if he had ever told her how to do _any_ exercise. He started to scold her very hard, making her feel like an idiot and humiliating her in front of everybody.

She had never felt so frustrated and embarrassed before. She couldn’t avoid tears going out from her eyes. It was unfair, and she didn’t deserve that treatment. She had always put all of her efforts in every training. She could see askance that the whelps around were as uncomfortable as she was, but no one dared to say anything. They just stood in silence and watched at the floor, waiting for the whole scene to end.

She snatched her wrist from his hand and ran out of the training yard. If that is what he wanted, he had won. She spent the rest of the day outside and when she felt better, she spoke to Kodlak. She wanted to drop out the sword lessons and a raise of wages. Arian was very upset, but her anger wasn’t clouding her mind. She had thought of it that whole day and didn’t go to the old man until she calmed down. If Kodlak refused, she would return to what she was doing before, jobs on her own, just to save enough money to try luck somewhere else. 

To her surprise, the old man accepted and told her that there was still a place for her within the Companions, if she still wanted it. He knew she was taking sword lessons outside Jorrvaskar, and tried to encourage her to re-apply once she felt more comfortable with the blade. He also tried to lure her in, talking about how much money she could make if she did formal jobs for the Companions. She frowned during the whole speech. She had never felt so confused in her life, _why all this insistence?_. 

She politely declined and decided to invest her efforts in alchemy. Her time in Jorrvaskar was something convenient, but temporary. 

The old man seemed disappointed, but nodded.

And just as she was so confused, Vilkas seemed to get angrier. In that way, she could not blame him. She didn’t know why the old man wanted to retain her. She appreciated the gesture though. Even so, he should take it against him, not her. 

Ever since that day, she had focused only on her duties as a maid, cleaning and helping old Tilma in everything she needed. No one seemed to have any complain about her and she used her free times on her personal interests. She had managed to avoid Vilkas or any thing that could cause any confrontation with him. _Until now_.

Arian sighed, the cold breeze announced her the beginning of the evening. She was hungry and wanted to go back to Jorrvaskar to enjoy dinner and have some rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty, pretty city of Whiterun. What is it that makes you so lovely? 
> 
> XD


	4. Uthgerd the Unbroken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arian misses a friend

There were things Arian didn’t like about Nords, but there were many other that she liked about them. She admired their pride and the passion they poured into defending their sense of justice and honour. Though she disliked their eagerness to engage in fights, Arian wished she could have a bit of their attitudes towards conflict. When they disagreed at something, they seemed to be sincere at heart, always spoke their minds and showed their emotions without any fear of being judged. When they solved it, usually with fist fights or any other violent way, they seemed to have closed that chapter in their lives and moved on. At least that was Arian’s impression. 

Of course there were always someone resentful, like that _not-that-old_ woman that usually sat in that dimly lit corner of the Bannered Mare, trying to drink her sorrows in mead, _Uthgerd the Unbroken_. Arian had noticed her since the first time she had entered to the Inn to ask for a job, but never bothered to talk to her until she left Danica. Arian was so bitter that she caught the attention of the older woman. Uthgerd may have felt curious about how someone else could look as miserable as she was, and invited Arian a couple of drinks. That night, Arian told Uthgerd her sad story, at least the one that started in Skyrim, and found out about her allergy to mead. She had drunk just half of her bottle when her judgement got clouded and her tongue ran loose. She started to say many things about Danica, Heimskr, Nazeem, Carlotta, John, The Wood Elves, which according to Arian, where a couple of lovers posing as brothers, and many other people such as Vilkas... Vilkas, and Vilkas.

_What she said?._ Arian doesn’t remember, but they may have been accurate funny things that Uthgerd found amusing. The Nord woman was so delighted with Arian’s company that she even confessed her age. In that moment, Arian learnt that Uthgerd wasn’t as old as she looked, that she just seemed to be carrying some bad years over her skin... some pretty bad ones.

After that, not knowing why or how, they engaged in a fist fight and later, Uthgerd finally spoke about her grudge against The Companions. She told Arian about how hard it was for her to join them and how they dismissed her instantly when she accidentally killed her training partner. The Companions never listened to her, never believed that she regreted it or gave her a chance to redeem herself. 

Arian completely understood her, Vilkas had never given her had a chance to prove herself worthy after all. 

The next day, Arian awoke feeling sick with the worst headache in her life. Her body ached and she had bruises, as if she had brawled with a bear the night before. Uthgerd was such a beast, no wonder why her ex-shield brother ended up dead.

Despite that, Arian liked Uthgerd. She was the first, _and only_ , person in Skyrim who had opened to her. Some days later, Arian wanted to return the gesture and invited her lunch. When Arian finally started to get small jobs, she invited Uthgerd and shared the wages. She got to know her better and could see how loyal and capable Uthgerd really was.

Only Uthgerd could understand the great satisfaction of getting a job that was meant for The Companions. It didn’t matter if the client paid less and that they had to split wages, they both shared a meaningful look imagining the faces of the Circle once they learnt they’ve _gained another of their clients._

That didn’t last long though, Arian and Uthgerd haven’t seen each other that much since she got the offer from the Harbinger. Uthgerd didn’t say, but she felt kinda betrayed and jealous, and had distanced herself from Arian ever since. Arian could not blame her, she knew that no matter what Uthgerd said about The Companions, she still held them in a high esteem. The best thing for now was to let her be and allow time heal everything.

But in times like these, Arian really missed Uthgerd. She missed to have someone to talk. She didn’t talk to anyone in Jorrvaskar, not in an intimate way. Besides, they only liked to talk about their fights and how they killed things and that. Though they were entertaining tales, Arian knew that they, mostly the whelps, used to exaggerate the facts. On the other hand, Arian didn’t like to fight, so she could not really say much about anything. 

Arian craved for someone she could have an invigorating conversation with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!!
> 
> It was very nice to awake one morning and see all of your messages!
> 
> I’m glad that you like this new story, I’ve been writing shorter chapters but posting more often. So, I know you’ve been waiting for the sexy wolf, and I just wanted to tell you that, he will be in the next chapter.
> 
> XD
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!


	5. The meaning of Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arian tries to understand the meaning of honor.

**_What does it mean to be a Companion?_ **

Arian had never met anyone like them before. She saw war and violence in a different way, and it took her some time to understand what that meant for the Nords. _Honor_ was a tricky concept for her too, and she felt that the more time she didn’t understand, or saw honor as Nords did, the more time she would be treated as an outsider. 

She thought that getting closer to The Companions, who she saw as the highest representation of Nordic values, could make her blend better. Besides, there was something about them that kept fascinating her. 

So, when she finally accepted to move to Jorrvaskar, she asked everyone about why they joined and what it meant to be a Companion. Though they were genuine questions, some Companions acted annoyed, as if it was something you were born knowing. 

And maybe you were, if you were a Nord. 

They grimaced, but always gave her an answer. The funny thing was that, though some of they thought they were giving her _an obvious answer_ to, _her apparently obvious question_ , they really didn’t seem to fully understand what The Companions were, and started to babble about a bunch of idealistic things followed by other generic ones about _family, honor, tradition, glory_ , and many other wordiness that just left her as ignorant as before.

Whelps and Circle members, they both sinned of this to some extent. With the exception of course, of Kodlak and, maybe Vilkas.

Arian still remembered what the latter told her. It was the answer she liked the most and the one that made her finally understand this whole Nord thing. 

She must have caught him off guard, because what he told her sounded straight from his heart, something unusual in him. She was used that Vilkas has always tried to dodge her questions, telling her that the only thing he cared about being a Companion was the money or that he didn’t really care at all. 

But at that time, Vilkas forgot about his contempt for Arian and gave her a honest response that still prowled inside her head:

_“There’s been a group called the Companions for over 4000 years. It’s been many different things in that time. A conquering army. Ruthless mercenaries. A band of drunken louts. And the esteemed company you see before you. But there’s always been a kind of honor to it. We don’t deal in politics or underhanded sneaking. We try to uphold the legacy of Ysgramor. To bear his good name such that it never be forgotten, and always spoken with reverence.”_

Arian wasn’t really expecting Vilkas to open to her like that. She just started a conversation, and somehow, the correct words and sentences allowed her go past his usual grumpiness. She had seen this change of attitude before with Njada, who acted nicer once Arian asked her for advice in blocking techniques. 

Just by picking the right topic to talk, he softened. And she realized that when he was not being a jerk, Vilkas was actually pretty charming. He used to have very interesting points of view, and knew about many interesting things. Arian could have listened to him for hours and hours. 

They spent time together that flew pretty fast, sharing supper and enjoying a great conversation. Vilkas didn’t use to drink that much, but that evening, he kept asking for mead, like Uthgerd used to do when she and Arian shared meals. A gesture that meant that he was feeling comfortable with Arian’s company.

That made Arian smile at him, and in return, Vilkas glanced at her with an unusual sweetness in his eyes. That made her lean her head and ran her hand through her hair, tucking it behind her ear.

Vilkas then inhaled deeply and fidgeted with his fingers.

 _Something else?_ \- He asked a little agitated. The evening became night and he might had felt tired, or maybe, he had started to feel the effects of the mead. Even so, he was willing to continue answering her questions. 

_I still don’t understand Honor._ \- She finally said. Vilkas scoffed and raised his eyebrows.

 _How can’t you understand it?_ \- He asked with a sweet smile.

 _I don’t!, really._ \- She shook her head, still smiling. 

He sighed and looked at her, as if he was waiting her to tell him she was joking. When she didn’t, and he understood it was _genuine_ question, he asked her:

_What is it for you?_

Arian shrugged.

 _From where I come from, Honor means just a way to control women’s sexuality._ \- She said.

And she meant it. So she wasn’t expecting that loud chuckle from Vilkas. She saw the young warrior leant back, laughing... blushing. 

She smiled at him and locked her eyes to his light blue eyes. He was an attractive man. She unintentionally lingered her gaze at him, appreciating the masculine traits of his face under the dim, pulsing light of the fire pit.

He lowered his gaze and shook his head. 

_It’s not... not that!. Well, some use it like that too... but... Not here at least..._ \- Vilkas sighed and took a pause to order his thoughts. Arian never thought that another of her _obvious questions_ could give him so much trouble. Once Vilkas recovered his breath, he tried to give her an explanation about Honor, but his answers sounded quite incoherent. Probably an effect of the mead. Arian tried to listen carefully and couldn’t avoid frowning for his nonsense.

Some laughter in her back her made turn her head. She saw Aela and Farkas who seemed to have been looking at them, but continued their own conversation as soon as Arian met their eyes. 

When she turned back to Vilkas, he seemed troubled. He was breathing fast and his eyes were on the table.

 _You know... I... I can’t explain it now... Ask the Harbinger alright?_ \- He sighed and rose from the chair, avoiding to meet her eyes. 

_Wait!, Wait!, Vilkas!_ \- She said, but the warrior didn’t listen. 

_Vilkas!!_ -She hurried to catch him and grabbed his wrist.

He turned around quickly and the movement made him let go of her grasp. He inhaled deeply.

 _Yes?_ \- He asked. His voice trembled.

 _Arian?_ \- He asked again. She didn’t notice that she was lingering, wondering the why of his change of attitude.

She raised her eyebrows and shook quickly her head, something she used to do when she felt nervous.

 _I... I just... Do you have books about history and you... I meant, you, the Companions... Can I borrow them?_ \- She asked, almost stuttering.

 _Sure!, I’ll look through them, and I’ll... We’ll see._ \- He hadn't finished talking when he turned his back on her. 

And just like that, he left, in a hurry. He disappeared by the stairs that led to the quarters.

He never lent her the promised books and they never had another enjoyable conversation again. The next day, he left for a job and when he returned, he came back to being sharp and rough with her. 

What could she have done wrong?. If she offended him, it wasn’t her intention.


	6. Hangry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arian gets hangry and Brill’s silliness doesn’t help.

The first winds of the evening brought within the smell of roasted venison and freshly baked bread. Arian’s stomach complained and reminded her that it was about to be supper time. 

After running her last errand in Dragonsreach, she hurried to the Gildergreen and saw the steps that led to the historic building under the Skyforge. Arian stood still for a second looking at the inverted warship, thinking that she could never stop admiring such beauty.

Living in Jorrvaskar was very nice, no wonder why The Companions didn’t want to get a house of their own, or, if they had it before they joined, they preferred to rent it and move to Jorrvaskar. It wasn’t just because it was one of the most iconic buildings in Whiterun, or that its Main Hall was always warm or that it smelled of roasted venison, mead and sweet baked treats. It was the environment, the atmosphere of camaraderie you breathed in there. 

Arian sensed this magical air since the first time she entered the building, and from that moment she always knew it was something special. An air of safety and confidence that made you feel that you won’t be alone and will always have someone by your side.

Arian’s stomach growled, but she was still hesitating to go inside the Main Hall. Instead, she did a quick search around the building, looking for Brill. She found him going down the steps that led to the Skyforge and waved to him to get his attention.

It didn’t seem that the man noticed her and she grunted at his lack of insight. She was hungry and supper was her favorite meal to have in the Main Hall. Tilma always awaited to the evening to prepare her signature dishes and the warmth of the fire pit countered the cold of the nights, creating a very cozy environment that she enjoyed along with the stories of the whelps who were just returning from their jobs. 

Once Brill saw Arian, he waved back and greeted her in a loud voice. Arian flinched and turned around to see if it was anyone else around. It took Brill some time to understand that she didn’t want to be noticed, but once he did, he approached fast to her, turning around to make sure no one was around.

Arian rolled her eyes.

 _What can I do for you young lady?_ \- He asked in a tone of mixed complicity and flirtation.

 _Hi Brill, who’s inside?_ \- She asked.

Brill raised an eyebrow. 

_Who are you hiding from now?_

_I’m not!_ \- Arian said and held her breath. She exhaled and then continued: _I had an accident while doing the laundry this morning... I just don’t wan’t to have Vilkas over me while taking supper because his loinclothes itch or something._ \- She said trying to hide her worry and crossed her arms. 

Brill chuckled. - _Well, that would be cumbersome._ \- He said and then embraced her with one arm and whispered near her ear. - _But, if he complains about his balls tickling, you can always shake him off by telling him to date a cleaner girl than Saadia._

Arian scoffed at the comment but she pushed Brill out. She didn’t like him to embrace her like that, besides, even if she didn’t like Saadia, it didn’t mean that it was ok to say such things about a woman. On the other hand, that just made her think about Saadia and her relationship with Vilkas.

 _I didn’t know they were dating._ \- Arian said sounding pretty upset.

Brill couldn’t hide a smile. 

_Well, not formally... yet. But they have fun together, for some time now. An honorable warrior like him... I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these days we see him with an amulet of Mara and..._

_Is he in the Main Hall or not. That’s the only thing I care about now._ \- Arian cut Brill off.

 _Whoah, whoah, I didn’t think you would be this jealous_ \- Brill said and Arian shot him a glare.

 _I’m not. So?_ \- She asked and raised an eyebrow, locking a pretty serious gaze on Brill.

 _He is not. He’s not even in Jorrvaskar. He left with Aela and Ria, I think they’ll be back late, pretty late. So you can have a quiet supper today._ \- Brill finally said and all signs of joyful play and smiles vanished from him. 

_Thanks Brill._ \- Arian said and then turned around.

 _Arian!_ \- 

_Yes?_ \- Arian turned around to see what he wanted to say, but she couldn’t hide her eagerness to go.

_I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you._

_I’m not upset!_ \- She yelled and then saw how troubled the man in front of her was. She took a big breath and then tried to apologize. 

_I’m sorry Brill, I’m tired and I’m hungry. I always get angry when I’m hungry. See you alright?_ \- She said a bit calmer and then hurried to the Main Hall, to finally have supper.

Though it was true that hunger made her angry, Arian knew deep inside her that it was not the only thing that was bothering her. 


	7. Jorrvaskar’s Perks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arian thinks about the benefits of working for the Companions and remembers another rough episode with Vilkas.

Working for the Companions had its perks, even as a maid. The accommodations were great, and Arian had nothing to complain about the servant’s quarters. They were located at the end of a discreet corridor downstairs, next to the whelps’s rooms. It was something you could easily miss if you were not acquainted with the building. 

Arian, Tilma and Brill had their own rooms. They were really tiny, only big enough for a bed, a trunk and a wardrobe, but they were cozy and private. Besides, in the middle of them was a common room with a fireplace, where they could rest and read. 

The perks also included some ways to make an extra profit, for example, the sale of leather and fur. The Companions were given to hunt every day and, every two weeks, the senior members picked some whelps for hunting trips and returned full packed of salted meat and furs. Some of them were given to Eorlund, other were divided among them and the rest between the servants. 

As long as you were willing to tan them, of course. 

The thing was that, the whelps were too lazy to do it and the Circle members were always very busy, so they usually paid Arian to tan the furs and other times they just sold their whole allotment to her at a pretty fair price. They were warriors and not merchants afterall. She could then re-sell them to the Khajiit caravans, clothing stores, or to Adrienne, now that the civil war requests for armor kept her low on leather. 

There was also the access to the Companion’s _almost exclusive_ blacksmith: Eorlund, in case she needed a weapon or an armor. The Companions would pay him for the items and then she could pay them back from a small part of her wages each week. Having access to high quality blades and armor was very convenient and she was able to re-sell them at a pretty good price, which allowed her to get rid of the debt pretty fast earning some profit in the process. 

On the other hand, she could ask something for her personal use, like the skyforge steel dagger she carried discreetly. 

Though she wasn’t a fan of heavy armor, she admitted that the Wolf Armor weighted less than it looked and provided great protection without sacrificing too much of the stamina or agility of those who used it. It was a real piece of art and she really wished to be able to ask for one, not for herself, but for Uthgerd.

The acquisition of that armor would leave Arian’s wages committed to the Companions for years, but it was something she wouldn’t regret to buy.

But to buy it was out of the question, the armor was reserved just for the Circle members.

 _It is a matter of honor_ \- Ria had told her once when she asked why the whelps were not allowed to use it. - _You need to prove yourself first, you know? To be able to use the armor that represents us and our legacy._

Arian frowned with that answer. Though it was elegant to hear about honor and legacy, it seemed empty. 

_Like how much do you have to keep proving yourself before the Circle?_ \- Arian asked. As far as she knew, _all the whelps_ had already passed their honor tests and their admittance was already judged by the Circle, meaning _they had proven themselves already_.

Arian’s question was something that came straight out of her heart, and it made Ria gape. The young girl just stood still without any word coming out of her mouth. 

She had never though of it.

* _I don’t know friend, I..._ *- Ria said pretty uncomfortable. She knew that it was a sensible subject for Arian due that Vilkas had never given her the chance to prove herself, and no matter what Arian said, she still resented that. 

And the truth was, that _she was_. That answer just made Arian remember the incident and it made her blood run hot. There was nothing she loathed more than to be underestimated. 

On the other hand, it proved her what she already suspected: “ _That no one really knew the reason_ ”, at least, none of the whelps. Sometimes their ignorance and blind devotion made her sick. It was as if they were in there, living a fantasy of past glories, not really knowing why they did things. They seemed lost and empty under the _”I’m so honorable”_ facade.

The long silence became uncomfortable and Ria didn’t knew what to do to get out of that situation without making her look as if she was running away, like a coward. Though Arian was short in height and seemed pretty fragile, she was threatening with _that look_ in her face. 

Arian’s look, _the look_ , as Njada and Ria used to call it., was a gesture that the maid made, maybe unconsciously, when she felt annoyed. Something that happened _very_ often. The young maid would roll her eyes in such unique way and stare at her interlocutor making him feel pretty stupid or, in this case, uncomfortable, guilty, scolded, as if you were doing something really wrong. 

Ria and Njada had witnessed how she had used it against Torvar, Brill and Michael whenever they tried a cheap flirting line to get her attention. The only thing they received was _the look_ , followed by a rejection that seemed so simple but was so complex for they to understand. 

They were just too dumb to understand that they were rejected and stood still like idiots, not even knowing what happened. 

_It was pretty funny_ to see that. But now that she was caught in _the look_ , she just wished to be somewhere else. Ria liked Arian. She considered her as an interesting, mysterious person, and she didn’t want their relationship to be tainted. 

Luckily for the girls, Farkas was passing by and Ria was fast to playfully hung on his arm. 

_Brother, can you answer Arian’s question for me please?, I have... things to do_ \- She said and ran away before he could give an answer.

 _I’m not good with questions, why don’t you ask my bro..._ \- 

_NO_ \- Arian said.

 _Ok, what is it?_ \- Farkas sighed, giving up on the same threatening attitude that made Ria run away.

 _I just wondered why the whelps couldn’t use the Wolf Armor, that’s all... It’s ok if you don’t know_ \- 

_Oh! That! Well... it’s... Vilkas says that it is to avoid a liability between the younger ones who still need to be strong enough to defend themselves._ \- He said and Arian frowned more.

 _Against what?!_ \- She exclaimed. Now it was the turn of Farkas to gape before a question he could not, _or didn’t want_ , to answer.

 _Nothing!, well they... They need to be ready to defend themselves against anything... That’s it.-_

_I know that, but I thought that was what Vilkas evaluates in... you know... the initial test._ \- Arian said and she sounded bitter.

 _He does_ -

 _Then, if they can’t, why were they accepted?_ \- Arian couldn’t hide the tone of anger in her voice.

Farkas sighed, now he felt uncomfortable. He realized that they weren’t talking about the Wolf Armor anymore but the _unfair_ treatment she felt she had been receiving from his brother. 

It wasn’t fair, he had nothing to do with that. He felt as if he was caught in the middle of a storm. Arian was quite sharp and inquisitive, and didn’t need too much time to ask dangerous questions. If he wasn’t careful, he could reveal to her something she should’t... something _she musn’t_ , know. 

And what he had said before, about not being good with talking or answering questions was true. The big Companion started to blabber for a while until his brother appeared.

Vilkas stood in front of her with a severe expression in his eyes, and said as if he had been listening to the whole conversation:

 _The reason behind our ways it’s nothing that you should care about Arian. You’re just a maid and the only thing you should know is how to keep all of this clean and take care that the mead never runs dry._

Before Arian could say anything else, he continued:

 _Take this to Eorlund, it needs some sharpening._ \- He said almost trowing his sword at her. - _“Now that you seem to have too much free time for stupid questions, make sure that all the armor and weapons are sharpened and polished.”_

 _What? But it’s my free time!_ \- Arian gasped.

 _Don’t make me remember you your place here maid!_ \- He scolded and Arian couldn’t avoid to lower her sight, defeated.

She just nodded and turned away, she was about to leave the building when she heard Vilkas say one last thing:

 _“And take care with that! It’s worth more than you are!_ ”

Arian remembered to have scoffed with a heavy feeling in her throat. 


	8. Farkas’s Flexing Routines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arian recounts once the twins quarreled.

The delicious scents that filled the Mead Hall made Arian’s stomach growl once more.

“ _Just a bit more_ ”- She said to herself as she headed to the stairs. She wanted to wear something more comfortable and get a book to finally enjoy supper. Something nice to relax after a hard working week.

While she looked for some wine in her trunk, she glimpsed at her savings box. She haven’t had spent her money in the alchemy lab she wanted to buy because she still had the hope that she could make the initial payment to get that Wolf Armor she wanted for Uthgerd. 

She had been thinking about that matter for weeks now. Maybe she could bring another talented blacksmith to make an armor like that in the Skyforge. 

But as soon as the idea hit her head, she dropped it.

_”But it would have a bigger value for Uthgerd if Eorlund made it.”_ \- Arian grimaced. 

She really missed her Nord friend, and even if she had thought in other ways to approach to Uthgerd, she insisted in **_getting that armor_**. It wasn’t just to please the older woman, it was a _personal_ matter, she wanted to get _him_ pissed. Arian had a bad habit of holding grudges and had a very discreet, passive way to getting even. And she was very good at it.

Besides, although Arian understood that the exclusivity of that armor had something to do with honor and tradition, there was some arrogance in the attitude of the Companions too. They were so used to be praised by everybody, that they needed someone to teach them a lesson, somehow. 

_”They just think they’re better than anyone else”_ \- Arian remembered with ache how all Uthgerd’s complains were truth, well, at least many of them. But that only made her more determined to get that armor one way or another. It would make Uthgerd talk to her again and, hopefully, help her to overcome her bitterness.

While Arian was heading to the stairs in order to get to the Main Hall, she stood for a second to the corridor that led to the Harbinger and Circle’s quarters. It was an interesting showcase. It had a lot of wooden statues that wore the different armors that the Companions had used along the time, since the Ancient Nord Armor, to the actual Wolf one. 

Arian scoffed. 

The corridor did seem better since Vilkas made her polish all of the items there. She had to admit that, the first time she was there, the lack of maintenance clouded the interesting collection the Companions had inside their walls. But now that Arian polished everything, they have been shining like ever before. 

No doubt that Arian was pretty proud of her job, she always rejoiced of doing things well, whether they were to sweep a floor, to mix a potion or to recover a lost heirloom. Shame that there was no one who would appreciate what she had done to bring back to life the greatness of their own history. 

She glanced at every set of armor and lingered in the last one, admiring the feral motifs and burnishes.

“ _It makes the Companions look very well in it... specially..._ ”- Arian thought, but a sting in her stomach interrupted her thoughts. She sighed and pondered instead about the Circle Members that didn’t use it as much as they should.

Aela preferred to use the Ancient Nordic Armor. It symbolized a lot since hers belonged to one of the original 500 who was an ancestor of her. Or so she said.

Arian hardly considered it an armor. It protected just few spots and left a lot of body parts unprotected. She just didn’t understand the purpose of it. She had even thought that Aela’s amor was so scarce because it was what was left of the original relic, until, she polished the one in the corridor. Then she realized that it was the original design.

Then there was Farkas. The big guy said he didn’t use the Wolf Armor to avoid to be confused with his brother, but she never bought that excuse. First, because it was **impossible** to confuse the twins. They were identical, yes, but they had very noticeable differences: Farkas used his hair longer, liked to grow some beard and was way much bigger than his _ironically_ , older brother. 

And that was just in the physical side, their personalities were very the opposite, and you didn’t really have to know them very well to notice that.

Farkas, for example, was a sweet, nice and a very relaxed man who didn’t like to do complicated things. He had a simple character, he joked and laughed a lot. Vilkas on the other hand was more serious and temperamental. He was barely in a good mood and when he was, he tried to joke, and he was terrible at it. 

Their habits and personal care were different too.

Vilkas liked preening. He used a bit of a lotion that smelled like rosemary, musk and exotic spices, while Farkas, well, he preferred his _natural_ scent. Vilkas’s hair was short and shaved every third day, something unusual in Nord men, who liked to grow their beards and braid their hair. He also had the habit to polish his armor every night and changed the leather straps very often, while Farkas just removed his and dropped it all over the floor. 

Also, though his popularity with women was a good as his brother’s, Vilkas didn’t seem to enjoy showing off or flirting like Farkas did.

Farkas was such a lady-killer who liked to show off his muscles, something he couldn’t do if he had to cover them with the leader straps that went with the Wolf Armor, and Arian always thought that it was the real reason of why he preferred to use the other one. It showed more of his body. She had seen him flexing his biceps soooo many times in front of women, glancing and smiling at them.

Other times, he would start to make some kind of _flexing-routine_ , specially when Jorrvaskar got female visitors. He would go to the training yard, grab his greatsword or another heavy weapon and start to do some strong swings against an invisible opponent, grunting and screaming. The women would gather around him and giggle, and he would approach to them and start talking about _his strength_ , and the Companions strength, and then flex his muscles and let them flirt for him. He always ended up offering discounts to the ladies in case they needed to hire them. 

And that made Vilkas upset.

Farkas justified his attitude saying that it was to promote themselves and get jobs. Though Arian could understand Vilkas in that matter, she admitted that, as inappropriate as Farkas’s methods were for an organization of such reputation as the Companions, they were actually effective. He got many buldgeoning requests, specially ones that targeted that annoying bard from the Bannered Mare. 

Arian knew that it was one of the things about his brother that bothered Vilkas the most. She had seen him rolling his eyes while he leant against the stone wall in the training yard, throwing disapproving eyes at Farkas while he performed his _flexing-show_. But the brawny Companion never seem to care about it, or to even notice, and that just made Vilkas angrier.

The whelps knew very well how to measure Vilkas’s mood and stayed away from him when he was about to explode in anger, and Arian was unlucky to witness that anger burst once.

It caught her off-guard, she was eating lunch outside, alone and reading a book. Then, Farkas appeared, grabbed his greatsword and started to train. He was being noisy, but Arian didn’t care, she was too focused on her own businesses. 

A loud clank made her lift off her eyes from the book just to realize that, for an unknown reason, Farkas had started to remove his armor. She looked at him stretching his back while he pulled up the bottom of his tunic to clean with it the sweat of his face.

She couldn’t avoid lingering to her abs and sculpted torso, and Farkas was quick to notice that. She tried to lower her eyes and return to her book, but she couldn’t concentrate anymore. Then Farkas approached and joined Arian in the table.

She doesn’t remember being more uncomfortable before, she had just being caught staring and could feel her cheeks burn. Farkas smiled and leant back, he smiled and stoked his chin. He seemed relaxed and entertained by her shyness. Then he started talking, something unusual in him, as he wasn’t exactly the kind of man who looked for conversation. Arian tried to keep up with it, but it was... awkward. 

She didn’t know what to say, and he clearly wasn’t interested in knowing about what she was reading, so she just asked questions and listened to him.

Then, she ran out of questions and a moment of awkward silence came. She was about to make an excuse to leave when Farkas placed the elbow on the table just in front of her, showing his enormous biceps.

_Come on, touch it_ \- He said.

_What?!_ \- Arian frowned, she certainly wasn’t expecting that. 

_Come on!_ \- He insisted with a smile.

_Alright_ \- She raised her eyebrows and started to poke his arm with her finger. 

_You can do better if you want_ \- He said raising an eyebrow.

Arian scoffed and smiled. The situation was weird, but it was somewhat funny to please the man.

_Ok then._ \- She said and then grabbed his arm. She squeezed it with her hands. It was pretty hard and big. Farkas never hid how proud he was of his strenght and body, but still, Arian didn’t know what was he expecting to get from her.

She didn’t have much more time to think about that since Vilkas appeared out of nowhere with a fierce expression in his eyes. It was so severe that it erased the smile from the faces of Arian and Farkas. There was something wrong.

_Arian, why don’t you take this time to practice your swings instead of having this... make out session with my brother._ \- Vilkas said. 

_What?_ \- Arian’s jaw dropped.

_You know, your form leaves a lot to be desired, so, grab your blade._ \- Vilkas said and signaled the training yard with his eyes.

_But I’m having lunch!_ \- Arian reproached. Farkas squinted a bit.

_Brother..._ \- Farkas said, but Vilkas raised his hand. - _And I need to have a word with you_ \- Vilkas cut him off.

Farkas sighed and nodded. 

_Let’s go._ \- Farkas got up from the bench and headed towards the stairs that led to the Skyforge. Vilkas followed.

Arian took a big breath, she haven’t had finish her meal but obliged Vilkas’s orders. 

Then she trained for the rest of the day. From time to time she glanced at the brothers who seemed to be arguing about something. After that, they stopped talking to each other for days and Vilkas acted way much colder with Arian during her sword lessons, as if she had a bearing on that matter too.

She would later hear from Aela that she haven’t seen the twins upset at each other like that since they were pups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!!!
> 
> First, thank you very much for your comments! I love to read them and I’m glad that you inquire about the story :P. How I wish to give you hints... but I don’t want to spoiler the story. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this update and see you soon!


	9. An unusual weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arian finds out about a troublesome effect that mead has on her.

It was Fredas.

Fredas was the day when the Honeybrew Meadery replenished its stock, brewing and bottling up new batches of mead. It usually filled up the air with the sweet scents of honey, fruits and grain that could be sensed from the city. It was a pretty comfortable aroma that announced the end of the week and made the Nords of Whiterun to prepare for a busy night with a lot of drink, fun and violent games.

Fredas was also the day when the Bannered Mare became full packed with people, coming from both inside and outside the walls. It became the center of brawls, fights and of course, bets. A day just like this Arian had ended up having her first brawl, like all a Nord, but she also realized that the mead was more like a poison to her.

Her mead allergy, as she called it, was a rare intolerance to the drink. She didn’t know what caused it: if the grains, the fruits, the fermented honey or something else used in the process to brew it. The problem was that, even if the drink didn’t have much alcohol, Arian could get drunk pretty fast with just a few sips. The worst part came the next day when she awoke with a terrible headache, swollen stomach and bowel movements.

It took her several times to relate the uncomfortable reactions with the drink. She had always attibuted them to her unfamiliarity with Nordic cuisine, until she drank with Uthgerd. That time she had enough mead to finally understand that it was the cause of her ills. 

It was a fun night, and a pretty venting one. But the next day, Arian awoke feeling terribly dizzy and nauseous. She had never felt so bad in her life. She had a thirst that that couldn’t be quenched with anything, she also felt so hungry and so sick at the same time that she couldn’t eat a single bite of food without throwing up everything.

The condition lasted a whole day and it was something pretty uncomfortable, not to mention embarrassing. It wasn’t the fact that the Nords laughed at her, thinking that she couldn’t hold her liquor. It was _the runs_ that sometimes came with that mead intolerance. She could handle a simple hangover, but not the fact that she had to be running to the toilet as if her life depended on it.

It only happened with mead, the drink that was so popular in all Skyrim and Arian truly regretted having such condition. It wasn’t just because she actually liked mead, but for the matter of belonging. 

She had spent enough time in Skyrim, and people, Nords specially, still treated her like a stranger. Not that it mattered _much_ , but it would be nice if they stopped looking at her the way they did. To bond with Nords, it was important that you could stand a drinking night with them, and that meant to be able to follow their drinking pace, which was quite a challenge, even for someone who had a good drinking resistance. And of course, _it had_ to be mead, one could not just choose another kind of drink.

Mead was as important as any other tradition for the Nords and they wouldn’t drink anything else. They were a race of tough people that was able to endure almost everything, except the lack of mead, and every household seemed to take the proper measures to avoid running out of it.

Jorrvaskar, for example, had its pretty special compartment where the Companions stored their own endowment of the precious liquor. It was a spacious room located in the northern wing and was full of barrels. It smelled of aged wood and the floor cracked nicely when someone stepped in. It was Tilma’s favorite room to clean and she treated it as a sanctuary. She checked the amount of mead every third day and was very cautious of never letting the barrels run dry. She also dealt with providers, and was always haggling and looking for finer varieties of the liquor. 

Tilma felt very proud of her job in those “ _mead replenishment_ ” days in Jorrvaskar, and for a reason unknown for Arian, the old woman became pretty insistent in teaching her how to perform such chores. 

“ _This is the backbone of every housekeeper... or housewife in Skyrim_ ”- Tilma winked at Arian while saying that with her delicate, but mischievous voice. 

_”Great”_ \- Arian thought. The least she wanted was that the old lady started to see her as a future replacement. 

Then Tilma started dragging her to the meadery to taste the mead before taking it to Jorrvasvark. There wouldn’t be anything more embarrassing than getting a spoiled batch and not having been able to detect it.

By that moment, Arian was already aware of how strong could be a sip of mead for her and tried to only sniff the samples that were brought to them. At first, Tilma didn’t say anything and Arian became able to notice some differences in the liquor from just the smell. But as time passed, Tilma began to push her to taste it, saying that it was important to train her tongue too. 

Arian tried to tell her about her “ _condition_ ”, but Tilma just laughed. 

“ _Don’t be silly dear, you only need to get used to it, you’ll see_ ”- She said and kept insisting. Arian wanted so hard to believe her that she finally gave it. She took the small cup Tilma was offering and started tasting the samples. She listened what Tilma said, trying her best to notice every flavor notes and the after taste of each sample. It didn’t take long before she started to feel that the whole room moved in circles and hear the voice of Tilma as if she was pretty far away... until she blacked out.

She awoke the next morning in her bed, feeling terrible, dizzy, hungry and dehydrated. When she saw Tilma, the old woman gave her a pitying look and apologized. It was on Tilma’s best intentions to make Arian feel better, but she couldn’t avoid feeling as if she was defective. 

According to Tilma, Arian passed out until they arrived to Jorrvaskar. Before that, she started talking _a lot_ and doing many _silly_ things.

_”Damn”_ \- Arian thought. She couldn’t remember anything, not even how was she able to go back. Tilma said they were lucky enough to bump into Vilkas, who was returning from a job, and when the old woman mentioned the warrior’s name, she smirked and gave Arian another of her mischievous winks. She didn’t know what the old woman was trying to tell her with that.

_”Great!!”_ \- Arian thought. “ _Now Vilkas knows about it too_ ”. However, she decided to thank him the next time she saw him. 

Fortunately for her, Vilkas went out for another job and Arian had enough time to cope with her embarrassment before facing him. He spent so much time out for that job that, as days passed, Arian completely forgot about the issue, until one day, when she was getting ready to make some errands and passed near him, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. 

_”Arian!”_ \- He said and the girl stopped and turned her head to look at him. - _”Are you going to the meadery today?”_ \- He asked.

_”Probably”_ \- She shrugged. - _”You need something special?”_ \- She asked.

_”Not really.”_ \- He said and just when Arian was about to leave he continued: _”Just try to measure yourself, I don’t want to carry you on my back again.”_ \- 

Arian felt that her face turned to all the shades of red.

_”I didn’t ask you to carry me, so stop acting like if I owe you or something.”_ \- She said acting defensive, but she did owed him something: a “Thank You” that she never gave to him. 

_”I did it for Tilma. I would have left you there, sleeping all the day in the road, like Brenuin.”_ \- He said. 

_”Sounds fine to me! At least the stones don’t sting like a hay bed.”_ \- Arian replied. 

Vilkas chuckled. 

Arian wasn’t expecting that reaction from Vilkas, as he was usually in a bad mood when talked to her. He was, of course, not being nice with her, but there was something different, something playful in his attitude.

Arian relaxed her shoulders while he looked at her. 

_”So, just tell me, how much mead did you have to taste to end up like that?”_ \- Vilkas raised an eyebrow and smirked.

She inhaled deeply and stood silent for some moments, wondering if she should talk about that with him.

_”Didn’t you ask Tilma?”_ \- She said.

_”I did, but it couldn’t have been just a few...”_

_”Well, believe it, ok?”_ \- Arian cut him off. She turned her head and crossed her arms.

_”So it’s true then.”_ \- Vilkas scoffed. _”You don’t remember anything either... Do you?”_

Arian stared at him, she inhaled deeply and shook her head.

_”No. I mean, I know my tongue may get a bit loose, but...”_

_”A bit?!”_ \- Vilkas chuckled. - _”You get out everything that you shut up being sober”_... - Vilkas laughed as if he was remembering something Arian said that amused him. After a moment, he recovered a bit of his breath and then said: _”But that is not what I meant”_ \- He stopped leaning against the wall to get close to her and tell her in a lower voice- _”You don’t remember anything you **did** , then.”_

_”What did I do?”_ \- Arian said and took a step back. Vilkas never got that close to her unless he wanted to scold her hard.

Vilkas locked his eyes at her and Arian had a hard time keeping her eyes still.

_”You know...”_ \- Vilkas sighed. “ _I think, It’s going to be better if we leave it this way._ \- He said and moved away a bit from her. 

Arian exhaled relieved, she was getting nervous and curious.

_”Why?”_ \- She asked before Vilkas left.

_”You really don’t remember?”_ \- He asked and Arian shook her head. 

Vilkas stood in silence for a moment, like if he was still wondering whether to tell her or not.

_”Well, you... you threw yourself at me and... well, we’re not in the proper place to talk about what you wanted me to do to you... Let’s say that I wouldn’t have imagined that you were in such... need.”_ \- He finally said.

Arian stood mouth agape while Vilkas smirked at her, before she laughed out loud.

_”What’s so funny?”_ \- Vilkas frowned

_”Is that your way of ... trying to convince me to sleep with you?”_ \- Arian said.

_”What?!”_ \- Vilkas asked puzzled.

_”You’re doing a terrible job.”_ \- Arian said.

_”That’s because I don’t... Ugh!... Why would I want to sleep with you when I can... When I have...”_ \- Vilkas blabbered. 

_”You tell me!.”_ \- Arian cut him off while still laughing. 

_”I don’t! You’re the one who is dying for one kiss of mine!!”_ \- Vilkas frowned and pointed at her. 

_”Me?!”_ \- Arian raised both eyebrows and then waved her hands. - _”Puff! I’d rather kiss a troll!”_ -

_”Fine! Whatever.”_ \- Vilkas growled and left. 

It took Arian a bit of time to recover her breath, she haven’t had laughed in a lot of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi There!!
> 
> So, It was very amusing to me that the Dr. Brown from *Back to the Future* passed out after drinking just a shot of whisky. I always wondered if that was something that really happened XD.
> 
> Many years later I realized that maybe I had something like that too.
> 
> When I spent a semester in Costa Rica in an interchange program, I learned about this local drink called “Guaro”. It is a liquor that is made from sugar cane. It is very popular, affordable and local people seem very proud of it, as the Nords are of their Mead in my story. But unlike Mead, Guaro smells like the alcohol you find in a first aid kit, (at least that it what it smelt for me). Of course, being a student, I was always on a low budget, and I asked for Guaro whenever we hung out. I never drank much, (Guaro is not tasty either, not for me at least >_<), but the next day, I always felt like if I had been drinking bottles and bottles of Tequila. LOL.
> 
> Just like Arian, it took me several times to realize that I was somewhat “intolerant” to Guaro, because it didn’t happened with any other drink. 
> 
> So, I thought that it was an amusing tale and I wanted to include it XD.
> 
> PS.  
> What do you think about what Vilkas said? Do you think he may be overstating Arian’s actions while drunk? Or maybe there is another effect of the mead intolerance that Arian doesn’t know yet?


End file.
